notageek

Cream 1 cup butter with 0.5 cup white sugar. Replace snapped-in-half spoon, swear to really use room-temp butter next time. Stir in 2.5 cups white flour. Press into 8-inch cake pans lined with parchment paper; prick with fork and sprinkle white sugar over top. Bake at 325 degrees F for 15-20 mins. Remove boyfriend from kitchen.

Let cool; use butter knife to loosen shortbread from pan sides. Flip onto tea towel and gloat over getting it out in one piece. Cut into wedges with serrated knife; serve with oranges. Explain that recipe is surely from somebody’s family, but that your Midwestern family desserts tend towards the Jell-O dependent. Retreat behind laptop under the guise of emailing family.

Accept ethnically-qualified praise about shortbread versus chop suey from aged family member. Grit teeth.