notageek

That’s where I’ve had it up to with practitioners who think Hormonal Birth Control Is Best, and with deceptive labelling, and package inserts that don’t tell you a damn thing, and with misleading google text ads that point to an Ortho Tri-Cyclen ad site, and people who purport to know what’s best for my body and my life.

Poll: how pissed am I?

Velex, if you’re reading this, you’re welcome to the three packs of Loestrin they gave me, though they’re probably too low-dose to be of use to you. Duxup, you might want to cover your tender little ears.

And the rest of you, the vast majority of whom aren’t on k5, and who are comprised largely of medical practitioners: don’t you read the prescribing information for birth control pills? Whoever wrote the prescribing inserts, why the fuck is severe depression not a contraindication? How can you hand out Ortho-Cyclen like it’s candy? How can you give me Loestrin, claim it’s “lower-dose” when it has 6 times the progestational activity of Ortho-Cyclen and only 5 micrograms less ethinyl estradiol? How the HELL can you tell me I “just need to give it a chance” when hormonal contraception so OBVIOUSLY exacerbated a pre-exisiting condition last time, and all I need to do is throw my life to the hormonal winds, three months at a time? And you, the FDA– Why the fuck have you not approved Gyne-fix, the best-tolerated IUD in the world?

Everybody who ever lectured me about “not ruling out birth control possibilities” when I said I didn’t like hormonal methods–you go take my pills, get so depressed you can’t get out of bed, try every night for a week to throw yourself off a bridge, go cut yourself open to try and make it stop hurting. Go cry and cry and cry because nobody believes you when you say your pills make you feel like shit. Go listen to them tell you you just need to do it again and again and again and again until you’ve found the right one. Go feel like shit even when you’ve found the right one. Go gain 30% of your body weight and be weepy and depressed and get put on antidepressants that give you rashes and make you feel even more like shit. Then see how you feel. Then come back and tell me I just need to find the right pill for me, and tell me I’ve got no reason to be angry.